Dating in Damascus

Okay, maybe he is right.

New York is full of people. It is full of stolen glances, chance meetings, dropped gloves, and watering holes and social gatherings. But like all other places on this globe, it is full of busy, shy, self-involved folk and thus websites like match.com proliferate and thrive even though you could meet someone on the subway platform no problem.

I have started to do the "match thing." I find it interesting, and it makes me feel like I am 'doing something about" my personal life, but rarely are the guys who write to me the ones I would want to date. And rarely do the ones I write to want to date me. That seems the case anyway. The whole thing is an admitted crap shoot. And the the spirit of "nothing every really changes since high school" it is fraught with "do I want to write my first name and his last name on my school folder?"

Tonight I went out on my third match date, and second with this same guy! That is amazing to me. I had written to him because I was attracted. (My scared Grinchian heart melted a bit and I hit send.) I had an in because he had read a book that I am reading. I got a nice note back that read something like "thanks for your note. I don't think that we are a connection, but I'd like to discuss the book with you." Huh?! What is a fledgling match.com guy supposed to do with this? "I have no interest in dating you, but it would be nice to talk to someone about this book." And this is fair enough, I suppose, but I just didn't know how to handle. I countered with "Sounds great. Why don't I finish the book, we get together to discuss and use the time as a "practidate" where I can give your feedback on your dating skills and you mine as if we were on a real date?"

He didn't bite. Just wanted to discuss the book. This being cyber space, I let it go and moved on to write to other guys who would never write back and ignore e-mails from guys who write to me from Denver or Philadelphia. What am I missing here about distance?

For some reason I checked back in with book-only guy and he was delighted to hear from me and suggested we meet. "Without attraction and me having read the book?," I wanted to reply. We met and had a great time. Aside from him saying that I reminded him of Diane Keaton, it was a success. Diane Keaton?! I mean "La-di-da, la-di-da, la la..." It turns out he was not initially attracted because I had a down jacket on in one of my photos and he thought I was hiding my HUGENESS! I had to laugh. I used that photo because I love snow and I was happy in that picture. Amazing to hear a different take. So no burka photos, folks, people may not reply.

Tonight we went to a movie -- the new Woody Allen one!!! How funny, eh? It was really good and then we ate dinner al fresco and walked around the neighborhood. It was a New York date as if in a New York movie. Like a Woody Allen New York movie. Maybe I AM Diane Keaton. Well, la-di-da, la-di-da...