Mac Me Happy, Won't You?

7233 Steps

I am convinced I need a Mac in order to be happy. Where is that coming from? Excellent marketing? Low self-esteem? Low RAM? Hey, now that I am a semi-professional blogger, I need to be ON THE GO! I need to be able to blog in the flash of a pan of a moment's notice. If someone drops a gum wrapper on the head of a pigeon who is dead in Union Square Park and then buys an apple and walks away, my readers need to know about it. Now. This, of course, has nothing to do with owning a new laptop. I just want something new and streamlined and pretty. And since that is not my body at the moment, I need a new computer.

"Do I look fat holding this MacBook Pro?"

I remember when I was convinced that a Walkman would make me run more. My parents finally got on board with this logic and got me one. I ran on the track at UCLA with it a few times and that was that. Perhaps Mom and Dad should have included a tape that repeated "Go to grad school, don't move home, follow your dreams now and don't smoke." But that would have been hard to put to music back then.

There was a point when all I wanted in life was a bean bag chair, a hanging fern in a macrame holder, a walking stick that turned into a seat and Earth shoes. IF I had ALL of those attainable items, I would really be happy. Still.

So where does this all lead, grasshoppers? That's right --

GET IT ALL NOW!

Scratch that itch until it is satisfied and/or bleeds. Rationalize, rationalize, rationalize.

Here is a good starter example: "If I get this [Armani suit, Mac, BMW, Piaget watch, etc.] then I am telling myself I care about myself and it is stating to the world "Hey, this guy is serious about caring about himself so he will be better able to care for others and the world he lives in." And that will get you more money, broads/dudes, recognition in the market place, recognition in the market, and just much, much more.

"You can give a man a fish and you have given him a meal OR you can teach him how to edit his fishing trip in Borneo on his MacBook Pro and burn DVDs of it to give to friends and he will have a lifetime of achievement and pleasure and memories."

Until a newer version comes out. And Borneo is no longer cool.

But that will be a while...