The Boot

I went to the podiatrist this morning for a follow-up on my heel spur issue. (Hey if you can't share this stuff with the whole world on the internet, just who else is gonna really care to listen?) I had been doing the stretches, but the right heel is still really painful. So my next options were therapy (physical, dammit!), surgery (NO!!) or Das Boot.

I had been in a boot before when I fell over a series of tables and chairs in a cobble-streeted cafe outside Venice, Italy and had to get a plaster cast and a GIANT black boot before embarking on hill walking in Umbria so I am no stranger to The Boot concept. But this one is a bit different. It is this huge strap-on right angle contraption meant to keep tension on your heel so the calf is stretched. It is really called a Night Splint, but I don't seem to see it that way. It is to be worn at night in bed. Like garlic for vampires, this boot will surely keep any interlopers away from my chambers. Actually it is kind of HOT in a Terminator sort of way.

I digress.

So I had night one with The Boot last night. It was okay until 2am and I had to take it off. The Boot and I will have to learn to co-exist and sleep together. I can tell already that it is going to help. Next I am going to use The Belt which I will invent to keep my stomach in at night and gives me abs. Then The Helmet which will keep my brain from racing all over the place in my sleep and will teach me French. Basically I will improve my whole life by being in complete traction at nights. I can see this taking off.