Off Course on the Stationary Bicycle

In a symbolic gesture of positivity and denial, I went to the gym. Hey before you get going, the doc said it was okay. I can't walk a straight line or not gesture over my shoulder without spinning out, but exercise is thought to be good.

I went back to my beloved YMCA this morning and held onto the stair rail like a dowager and managed up to the gym. My ipod and I were so happy to be back and were greeted by all the mats and exercise balls and machines.

It was half exercise and half a notion of it. A start. I can say my head benefited more than my body, but this is what we do to get back on. And what I do is then RUN with this success and OVER do it. This is where I need the real exercise.

I have had to accept that the body works in its own time and I cannot push it. I have to get well. I have to do what I can do, but not do more than I should. This is a frustrating position for someone so willful.

I thought today: "Well if I am so up and at 'em and a DO-er, then why do I not have the best abs in the world, why am I not a top notch bagpiper, why have I not written a few books and plays? " If I am such a over-the-scorer?

Well, I like to BUZZ. As long as I am buzzing and keeping busy buzzing I cannot see my wings and I don't have to deal. This illness has made me think that I need some "more better" focus.

Some quality, not quantity.

So I have decided I need to have dinner parties and read the classics and take French

Clearly more work needs to be done.