If Only I Bought That Gun from the Corner Store

Where do I begin with this day? The Supreme Court or mice in my apartment?

We'll start with mice. I have had no mice for months and I have been living a grateful, but clean life ever since. Gone were the days of lying in my perch at night and hearing "Scurry, scurry, SNAP!" I was mouse-free.

So today I am working in my office under my perch and I hear what sounds like a bird screaming. I pull open my sash to see what was the matter. Nothing there, so I go towards the kitchen. My IMMEDIATE ability to deny reality kicks in and I just KNOW they are using power tools next door that sound mildly like screaming birds. Whew.

Hey, I'll just look underneath the cabinets anyway now that I know it is powertools. The flashlight catches the dead eyes of a little Stuart pinned underneath a metal bar. He is so not chirping. I now know there are reinforcements. In the movie version I gallantly deal with it, but in reality I go next door LIKE A LEETLE GIRL and get my landlord to come deal with chirping/screaming mysterious power tools coming from somewhere by my stove.

There is sticky paper under there and a mouse who was not even born when I took the garbage out on Friday is glued to this thing in some Kubler-Ross stage of mousemortem. But he is still alive and knows his young life is over and he no longer has to worry about getting that report in on President Garfield by Monday.

My gentle Southern landlord takes care of all including dignified toilet burial. I am bereft. But macho bereft.

In a related story of protecting one's homestead and loved ones:

Supreme Court rules in favor of gun ownership rights.

And here's a quote:

Supreme Court Justice Scalia noted that the handgun is Americans' preferred weapon of self-defense in part because "it can be pointed at a burglar with one hand while the other hand dials the police."

He really, really said that?! Come the hell on!! Good job Brownie! He really said that? So I am shooting at my burglar with say my right hand and dialing with my left? He really suggested that? We Americans prefer handguns 7-1 over other leading killers of other human beings?

And get ready for the FLAMING LIB "they always go there" response to a government who just wants to keep her people (the law-abiding ones) safe...

This person I am killing with one hand is stealing from me because:

a. No job due to economy which has tanked due to lied about war in Iraq? Scalia helped get Bush shoved into office.

b. Drug addiction? Don't we have any Religious group tax-funded programs for this?

c. parent was a heterosexual single unemployed person who couldn't keep the sanctity of her marriage going?

Scalia you are an idiot. Please.

And do people who kill their co-workers sometimes prefer handguns? Or students who kill teachers and other students. They are free to use handguns to kill them. Thank you very much. And who are they dialing with thatfree hand? You, Scalia?

Thank you very much all you really intelligent judges. Thank you for that. I appreciate your ruling. I hope you don't face the wrong end of one of your Freedom Funnels.