My "Procedure."

Today was the day for my "procedure."  Why do we now say this instead of surgery, doctor appointment, whatever?  "Procedure" sounds so illicit.  Every time people say "procedure" I think either tummy tuck, eye lift, abortion, or syphilis removal.   I just do.   

And I think once you start saying it, it just makes you immediately "of a certain age" and one that you are never coming back from - no matter how many procedures you have. 

My "procedure" was to have the receding gums in my lower front covered with a graft taken from the roof of my mouth. 

Since the appointment was made right away and I was told it would only take an hour and I could pay for it on my credit card, I thought 'Drive Through" as in this is nothing.   I was going to meet a friend for lunch and then go to the gym after and then run some errands. 

What part of they are going to shoot you with a million needles all over the place and CUT a whole piece of the roof of your mouth off and SEW it to the front of your lower gums did I not really hear?

This was involved.  I was spitting up blood and numb and slurping/drooling. The pain started almost immediately after I left the office.   They gave me a prescription for vicodin.   

There was no lunch. There was no gym. There were no errands.  

I was home and in pain trying to check out by watching a movie. I then finally got up and and went and allowed myself to get COLD soft serve ice cream from Zabars counter.  Weight Watchers be damned.   Forget vicodin addiction. But I could get addicted to this amazing custard ice cream soft serve. Doctors orders! It was lovely and cold going down. 

I napped finally. 

I had a screening to go to tonight with my friend Aris. It was "Doubt" and Meryl and Amy and Phillip Seymour and John Patrick and Viola were all there for the Q & A.  And my mouth was throbbing. I was in so much pain on the train tonight.  I think Meryl could have acted my pain. She is that good. 

I finally had to take a vicodin which I was avoiding.  Hopefully I will sleep like a hopped up, disfigured, butterfat baby tonight.