Montage OR Le Montage

Life isn't like the movies. And WHY didn't anyone ever tell me this?

Case in point: The Montage.

When the protagonist in the film is either:

a. Falling in love
b. getting in shape to battle the villains
or
c. going through a tough, slow, painful rehabilitation...

we get to see it all happen quickly in a series of jaunty/sexy/stunning clips and there they are at the end in love, with a body of death, in the summer.

I realized today that:

a. I cannot blow bagpipes because of my residual bell's palsy.
b. I cannot balance or walk without staggering
c. I am single and unemployed with no prospects in either category.
AND
d. I am struggling with French class

All this would be solved quickly and readily with The Real Life Montage.

Instead of having to go through slow, grueling mouth and lip and balance exercises, there would be quick cuts of me doing these with a hunky trainer set to a peppy song. Et voila - in 30 seconds cured!!

OR, I would be seen on the phone, using the Internet, pencil behind ear, cool best friend dog at my feet with a tie in his mouth that I would hastily put on to go out to interviews where I would get a GREAT job and fall in love with the Boss (who is from France) all set to something by Katrina and the Waves.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The truth is all of this ONLY happens when one (including me apparently) painstakingly goes through slow and daily exercises and LOTS of phone calls and emails and rejection over 8 or 9 months and asking guys out and getting knocked back until one says yes, etc, and practice, practice, practice with the French book.

It all only happens through TIME, PATIENCE and EFFORT.



Damn.