"Modern Love" - The New York Times. Easter Sunday, June 24 2011

 (I was illustrated in the NYT! My piece was professionally illustrated. Calm down, Sally Field...)

I have written about New York City in this blog for over 3 years and tomorrow I am getting published in one of the most widely read newspapers in the world, the paper of record, the Old Gray Lady, The New York Times.

I feel like I got off the bus with $3 in my pocket and tomorrow I hit the big time. Whoa, there Mr. Hyperbole. 

The breeze off the Hudson whispers, "Keep going, keep going."

Dan Jones, the amazing and wonderful editor of "Modern Love" in The New York Times told me when he wanted to publish my piece that they get 300-400 submissions a month.  And here I was one of only 4 of them that got selected.  He actually told me I was a really good writer and he loved the piece. This better shut up "Mr. I Never, You Always."  Starting tomorrow I am a paid, freelance writer. Well and truly. I am a professional writer. I am a writer.  I write. 

I am very proud of this Modern Love piece.   I do think it is well-written, funny and emotional - everything I wanted to convey.  This, for me, is a triumph.  I have suffered from "Other People" syndrome ie "other people write, are doctors, get married, build skyscrapers, win gold medals, buy houses."  The thought is a crippling one.  But it is time to shed this. 

I have trouble with the word "deserving" as in I am deserving of happiness, success, etc.  I prefer "worthy"  I am worthy of love, success, getting published.  It seems to require more effort on my own part that "deserving."  So today I am worthy and I celebrate.

But it is a bittersweet triumph because I don't get to celebrate it with the Jeff in the piece. We did not make it.  We made it 9 months, we delivered the baby, but it was DOA.   I still shake my head at this, but I have to be grateful that our meeting was worth it and I was worthy to be in the relationship and so was he and we move on.  I wish him well. 

The breeze off the Hudson whispers, "Keep going, keep going."