What was on my mind today? Well nothing. I just worked. I guess work is on my mind. I got here at 8:30am and left at 9pm. I need to work smarter. Better. I guess. Lately I feel like I am pushing rocks up hills; I don't seem to get the work done. This causes me "controlled panic" if such a thing can be achieved. I got home and watched a program for work with my chicken dinner. Took notes. I flossed. I am now going to bed.
All this sends me into a horrible "How Does Oprah Do It?" thing. When I compare myself to Oprah, I suffer. I know she has a million handlers and assistants, but that lady works hard. There is no way she doesn't. But then she rides her bike in Montecito! There are people who run companies, raise kids, read the classics, have abs of steel and learn Flemish. They also VOLUNTEER! I know there is a trick and I am going to learn it.
Here is just a quick working list of things I think I need to "GET":
1. First thing's first. Just do the next thing.
2. Reading 2 pages of Homer or Flaubert is better than fretting about how behind on the classics I am.
3. Walking to work is exercise. Walk to work.
4. Signing up for a class/joining a group is something you do whether you have a job/relationship or not.
5. If I know I have done the best I can at that moment, then so be it.
6. Meditation. There must be something good in it for me based on the fact that it freaks me out.
7. When I compare myself to Oprah (or anyone) I suffer.
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