FREE For the Price of Living Here.

Cara and I are both "in between jobs," "underemployed." FREEEEEElance.

The perfect outing (if one at all) for us is a FREE night at a museum. We went to the Whitney Museum on Madison at 75th. It was actually the Pay What You Want Night. If only all places were like that. It was happening and lively. I loved it.

Beforehand we went to Sant Ambroeus just above on Madison. This place is Italian caffe fantastico. Perfect pastries, people and pinkness. The kind of place you were press your nose up against to look at the swells having an espresso and biscotti in between shopping. We saw Elaine Stritch stroll in dressed to Upper East Side perfection. I waived and told her I saw her show two nights back in the Village. She was very.

Cara and I took our excellent lattes TO GO for our passeggiata libre.

For the price of a cup of coffee and a few bob at the door at the Whitney, we had glorious social evening of laughter, fun, catch up and art.

We saw both the William Eggleston show and the Andrew Calder. I had wanted to see both and here we were. I have to say without reservation if you have a chance see them. They were perfection. Truly both were so well curated. And I don't say that that often, but mostly because it makes me sounds like a pompous ass.

When your health insurance, rent, transport, ziploc bags, well your everything to be honest is exorbitant, and you are not working, you better find things that remind you of why exactly you live in New York and a virtually free Whitney and a Autumn night stroll with a friend on Madison Avenue are just those things.

The Protest Store

You know those storefronts where you can go with friends and family for your birthday or whatever and paint pottery or build a bear? Well, I am going to a protest on Saturday and I think we need a store where you can go to make protest signs.

Excellent idea, but execution lacking and rushed. Sorry D!

I don't know where to get a poster board or a wooden stick to mount my protest sign. I don't have markers or paint or, well, glitter if it doesn't rain. With so many businesses(and people) OUT OF BUSINESS certainly there will be demand for protest signs.

People are just too creative and angry to have boring signs. Especially when it is about denying gays the right to marry. We need cool signage to express our rage. Bows, bits of cut of Ken and Ken and Barbie and Barbie dolls. We need pinwheels and bubble machines. And all under one roof because who has time?

Wouldn't it be so bonding to, let's say, meet friends in the Village at the "BANNER, AND HIM TOO!" Store to eat pizza and make creative, eye-catching, tear-inducing signage? I think so.

Hell No We Won't Glow. But we can now because of this special paint! I love it!

So Saturday I go to City Hall in New York to volunteer and then protest the hateful passage or Prop 8 in CA and those other props in FL, AK, and AZ. My God we have a lot of anger to get out.

I need a really good sign.

I was thinking "I WANT TO VOTE ON YOUR MARRIAGE." But it seems so done.

And "HOW DARE YOU VOTE ON MY EQUAL RIGHTS." Rage.

I can't think of anything witty because I am so angry, but maybe something that combines the two like:

BRISTOL AND HER BABY DADDY. NOW THERE'S A MARRIAGE I CAN SINK MY TEETH INTO.

It really doens't mean anything, but it sounds cool. I think I will go with that.

WE Doth Protest Not Enough!

I support her right to wear OUR flag disrectfully and unflatteringly and not be stoned to death for doing so. And with those shoes! BUT she don't get to vote on my equal rights.

So I'm going to this protest on Saturday at City Hall in New York. It is to protest against the passage of Proposition 8 in California. And Props in Arizona, Arkansas and Florida. It is to protest that EQUAL RIGHTS have been violated in the UNITED States.

Yes, these particular propositions all happen to involve gay people, but I do not see these as gay rights issues, I see these as violations of Equal Rights. I see these as putting inequality into law: making some citizens LESS equal than others.

And I do not see this as a GOD issue. Go to church and get God. BE like God, but you don't get to BE God. AND you don't get to PLAY God in matters of state.

Let's just change these props to apply to black people instead of gay people for discussion purposes:

Black people cannot marry anyone. Period. Black people in Arkansas cannot adopt children or be foster parents.

Does that sound fair? Would people stand for that? Of course not, nor should they.

Or change it to male people, or white people, or Mormon people or Catholic people or disabled people, or people of Scottish heritage. Change and change and change. It is discrimination.

Since when do we VOTE in a democracy on our level of COMFORT with other peoples' rights? Could you imagine if we put your marriage up to a vote? YOUR abilities up to a vote?

I ask you to get up and go out on THIS Saturday and protest with me for EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL UNDER THE EYES OF THE LAW. Please go to http://jointheimpact.com/ to find the location nearest you.

We are protesting for equal rights all over the United States on that day. Together. Stand up and be counted. If you really, truly support me and think I'm a descent guy then maybe I have put a face on something for you as you have for me. Start with doing for your friend Pat who is being discriminated against, but then realize you are doing it for you and your families as well. Equality under the eyes of the law is vital to what this country stands for.

Again, this is not even separate water fountains or back of the bus. In the case of marriage and equal rights, gay people have no fountains and no buses.

And we won't be "cured" or go away. We deserve our place at the table. And you deserve to keep yours along side us.

Bring your kids.

Elaine Stritch and Liz Smith

Liz and Elaine walking down 5th Avenue in 1956.

My friend Tom at the New York Times is such a great guy. And NOT just because he invites me to all sorts of great events as his +1, and NOT just because he reads this blog!, but he because he just is. And his partner Phil is a peach too and it all just works.

Anyway, he invited me to see Elaine Stritch and Liz Smith in conversation. For a guy who is not working, I seem to be double booked all the time (there, I just cursed my fabulous quotient and now it will plummet.), but this time I was able to say YES.

I remember escorting Elaine Stritch into the BAFTA Emmy Tea Party and she was just herself: cantankerous, caustic and lovely. We talked about podiatry, as my dad was a podiatrist and she just went to one. And then she went into "Where's Holland Taylor? I need to find her and then I wanna get out of here!"

Elaine and Liz. These old broads have been buds since 1953 and you can just imagine how bawdy they are in private after the conversation we "had' with them tonight. It was a great evening listening to them talk about the old days and the Elaine's plans for the future. And she still has one at 83 years old!

This is the best photo I got with my iphone. iphone needs to have a better spycam. With a zoom.

Afterwards, Ms. Stritch got up and belted out some numbers in tights and a sweatshirt. The old broad still has the chops.

I was thinking while listening to her that my dad was 21 years younger than she is now when he died. It really goes to show that it is important to stay active and get healthy and let go of your shit.

Note to self.

I've Loved You So Long

Dear Reader, I would love this to be a sentiment, but it is a movie. A movie and a sentiment!

Ahhh, Il y a longtemps que je t'aime I say to you in French so it buckles you at the knee. Or maybe that is just you sitting in your seat until the film begins.

Hilary and I went to a screening of this in the Flatiron district (which was perfect as it got to completely out of my Upper Westside ghetto which I love, but I need variety.) The film stars Kristen Scott Thomas. She was really good and the film, though a tough subject matter, is good. KST, I shall call her, did a Q & A afterwards. In the film she shows her age, meaning no make-up, close ups, etc. and she was still beautiful. The woman is beautiful. What a writer for The Observer called a "grown up beauty" and I think that is true. She is just really stunning, but not in that babe on the beach kind of way, but rather that cognac and library kind of way. That starring profile out a window on a bleak day kind of way. That across the lobby at the opera kind of way.

I will stop.

Once again I have dual lives that involve Paris hitting me in my "compare and despair" bread basket. KST is English, lives in Paris and speaks perfect French. And English.

The other day when I started my continuous job hunting process, I somehow happened upon an article about David Tanis and his new book "A Platter of Figs and Other Recipes." Aside from my bitchy thought bubble which was "Crap Title," I read that he spends six months of his year as head chef at Chez Panisse in Berkeley and 6 months in Paris with his partner.

DOH! or DOUGH!

WHY didn't anyone tell ME to that?! There is something I could excel at. Well, the hanging out in Paris part.

Note to self: Find job with 6 months in Paris and 5 months in New York and 1 month wild card.

Extra points: Hang out with David and KST whilst in Paris.

What is this blog entry really about here?

Join the Impact

It is happening in NYC and around the country this Saturday. Go to www.jointheimpact.com to find a protest in your area.

I am going to protest this coming Saturday. I am going to get up and get down to City Hall and say "NO!"

Proposition 8 passed in California which in effect changes the California constitution to take away rights from gays and lesbians to marry in that state. This is not preventing the possibility, the right was already there. It is REMOVING a legal right. It is taking away a right of a minority by the majority. It is discrimination 101.

Imagine if we said on November 3rd, "Excuse me ladies, don't bother going to the polls tomorrow because we have retracted women's right to vote in this country."

California has retracted gays and lesbians' right to marry. 18,000 gay and lesbian couples already have, but the door has closed.

ABSURD

So in the Constitution for the State of California, my home state, it will say in effect "Marriage is ONLY between a Man and a Woman, oh, and these 18,000 gays over here."

Huh?

It has been said to me that we need to put a face on who people are voting against. We have to stand up and be out at work and with Mormons and the black voters who voted for Obama and against us. We need to sip tea with Catholics that think it is a disorder. Etc. Etc.

Well, I agree BUT we also have to take to the streets, we gays and lesbians and straights-- and march NOT for gay rights. This should not be a gay rights issue, but FOR EQUAL RIGHTS UNDER THE EYES OF THE LAW.

That is all I want, equal rights as a citizen of this country. Whether I choose to exercise those rights is my business.

I think day to day "you're living next to a homo" awareness is important, however (and since we have America back. YAY!!!! ) so is protesting. That is as American as apple pie. But we need to take the anger out of it. This is true. I think the march on Selma was necessary and not just relying on telling people "I am black and I have feelings too."

Sometimes we need to take the streets and say NO.

My friends Greg and George have been together 26 years and got married in October. They marched in Long Beach and held their marriage certificate high. This was a visual that will not be forgotten by many. I think if lots of people marched and people got to see gay couples whom they knew it would benefit all of us.

A lot of people not directly affected by Prop 8, etc. have no real idea of it across the states. Or what it is really saying: some are more equal than others in this once great democracy. So this is another reason why I am going to City Hall in New York City on Saturday to protest. We can joke all we want, but Arkansas says some of us are not worthy of adopting a child or being a foster parent. I want to get up and say NO. And only after that will I share a Coke and smile with a Mormon and talk about it.

But I agree the real work is being a stand up person. Day to day to day. It is easier to hate an idea than a person, I think. I know many people who are not unapologetically OUT in their lives. That is their choice (FINALLY, something is a choice, ha!), but it is putting a day to day face on it that is important. Let's all do that. Let's be stand up people. And straight people can say to others that they have a friend or relative who is gay and these discriminatory propositions are just not right.

So I take to the streets and to the courts and to the press, but the real work is facing the "enemy" and having compassion and a discussion. Something that seemed impossible over the last 8 years. Now I think our new president and the new climate will make that MORE possible. But talking to people who feel like I should not have equal rights--I have to say right now that feels like getting into a wet bathing suit. But it is necessary. I realized this after coming back from Ohio where I was canvassing for Obama and had to talk to people who told me they could never vote for a black man because it says in the bible it would mean the end of the world, etc. and I had to speak to them about their feelings rather than say "WTF?! You have 4 kids, you're 23, you are on welfare, your boyfriend is on crystal meth, there is garbage piled high and a broken couch in your front yard and you have a tattoo with that deadbeat's name all over the side or your neck. Isn't the end of the world already here for you?!!" But instead we spoke person to person and I think we both were better for it. I have wanted to ghetto-ize myself in SF, NY and LA and leave the rest to "those assholes" (MY prejudice), but I appreciate better after Ohio how there has to be a discussion.

Oh by the way, I am that bagpiper you are standing next to and I am gay.

PLEASE LOOK AT THE LINK AND FOR YOUR AREA AND GO AND PROTEST FOR EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL.

http://jointheimpact.com/protest-locations/

Byrne Gets Hitched

The Pipe Major of the Monaghan Pipe Band that I play in got married today. He was married way out on Long Island in the town of Northport. I had no idea it was so far away and lucked out getting a lift with fellow bandsman Brian and his wife Vanessa.

This time of year and that part of Long Island are truly beautiful. Changing and falling leaves, church spires and obelisks in the middle of towns marking war heroes and New Englandy white wooden houses. It all works. The day was not promising weatherwise. But, hey, it is November.

Byrne and Kate finally set a date. She is so beautiful and nice I can't believe he waited so long.

Tommy pipes next to his car.

Irish much?

Byrne's new wife, Kate, HAD the same last name as me before today. I can tell we are going to get along.

Scene out of one of those HBO Irish Soprano type shows. Indeed. "Band of Brothers McMullen"

Tommy posing.

Paul the mensch.

Eddie and Tommy take a well-rehearsed candid shot.

Cut up Dan and lifesaver Brian and an non band member.

The reception was even further out on the island where you could see neither Russia nor Manhattan. Far.

But stunning. It was held at The Three Village Inn in Stony Brook. The kind of place on a dreich day like today where you just want to go upstairs afterwards, take a hot bath and read a book. And many did stay.

The band played at the reception and that is always fun. It creates a sense of camaraderie I think. Byrne got up to play as well as newly ordained Fr. Lachlan, who married them. He is the brother of bandmate Eddie and used to play play in the band himself. Just think of the power of a priest who can pipe you in and then marry you! And Eddie announced his engagement to Liz. Fantastic news. I just met her and instantly liked her. Dan gave his off he cuff toast which was very funny and full of the love only he can give.

All in all a great day. And I have to say one of the best things about playing in a pipe band is the sense of fraternity and we have that here. It was also great to meet the wives and girlfriends and get to know each other better. I think I have landed well. Now to get my pipes going again.

View out from the reception


The Inn was this dude's house. But he died.

Nice Martha touch.

I have no idea why I didn't take photo in the reception. That would have been good. Maybe I will get some photos from others. Just imagine drinking, piping, loads more guys in kilts, white man's overbite dancing, great food and a lot of slagging.